Thanksgiving Eve Is Stupid, But Damn If I'm Not Excited

I didn’t peak in high school. I’m putting that out there because this episode of Schnitt Talk is 30 minutes of me talking about high school. It’s for good reason, though! It’s Thanksgiving Eve, y’all. In Chicago, we call it “blackout Wednesday”, and it’s such a big holiday that all the clubs downtown have “deals”, aka they gouge you a $65 cover for an open bar that you can’t even get to because there’s 389 people trying to get two bartenders’ attention. Anyways, I could talk for days about how dumb it is to do that, but I digress– blackout Wednesday is for one thing only, and that’s your hometown bar.

I think you probably grow out of this holiday after a few years, so forgive me if that’s your situation, but I’m 22 with a cool job and my body craves the social one-upping I get to do tomorrow. In college, everyone is sort of at the same level. Everyone’s broke, drinking a ton, and barely attending class. Not much to talk about there. Oh what’s up, guy I had english class with sophomore year? You’re in a frat? Cooooool! Since everyone is basically doing the same shit, it’s not that interesting. It’s this year (for me), the year after you graduate, where things get interesting.

Most of the kids I grew up with are living at home and working boring jobs, which is exactly what I would’ve been doing if I hadn’t lucked into the coolest job in the world. But still, getting to talk about my job AND living in New York City is like bragging porn. Between you and me, New York City is a flaming garbage can of a city that smells like pee and choosing to live here for any reason other than a great job has got to be a symptom of mental illness, but everyone I went to high school with doesn’t need to know that. It’s a concrete jungle where dreams are made of! And I can talk about the subway and sound very cosmopolitan, because no one knows anything about it. I can say yeah, I take the shuttle to the NQRW or the PS3 to the P90-X HIIT and they’d be like wow, I can’t believe you take the subway!

It’s funny because I truly do not care about anyone from my hometown, but for one night every year, I want to show off. And you’re a dirty liar if you act like you don’t feel the exact same way.

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